Copyright 2000 Boston Herald Inc.
The Boston Herald
May 19, 2000 Friday ALL EDITIONS
SECTION: NEWS; Pg. 004
LENGTH: 659 words
HEADLINE:
Patches' stance on tort reform may soon shift
BYLINE: By HOWIE CARR
BODY:
Pity poor Patches Kennedy. Always the runt of the litter, never the sharpest
knife in the drawer, now the Boy Congressman from Rhode Island is really
confused.
He thought THESE PEOPLEwere his friends.
And after all
he's done for THEM.
I mean, if a Kennedy, a member of the House
Democratic leadership, can't rely on rapacious tort lawyers and women of color
to do the right thing, well, what exactly is this world coming to? It appears
now that Patches Kennedy is going to be sued, just because he pushed somebody.
But now she's looking for . . . six figures. Say, $ 210,000. I throw
that number out because it's easy to divide into thirds - $ 140,000 for Granny
and $ 70,000 for her attorney, mouthpiece Mallory.
Oh, the multiple
ironies in this Patches Kennedy hate crime, which is exactly what this would be
called if a Republican congressman had attacked a woman, and not just any woman,
either.
The victim is an African-American woman. An elderly (well, 58)
African-American woman. That's three protected classes - it's a triple hate
crime.
Oh yeah, and after 11 years on the job at LAX, Della is making
only $ 9.64 an hour. That makes her poor, and now Patches is angrier than ever.
He voted for the increase in the minimum wage, gosh darn it. Where's the
gratitude?
"I've said I'm sorry for the last time," he says, sounding
like Dick Armey. "Enough is enough, and I'm not going to become a human ATM
machine."
Well, Patches, now perhaps you can understand how taxpayers
feel about you and your Dad using us as an ATM for all your crackpot schemes to
expand the non-working classes.
As soon as he finished battering Granny,
Patches went straight to the Clinton playbook. First he denied everything. Then,
when he found out there was videotape, he apologized. Now he's surly. Why can't
we all just get along?
How great is it that Patches was busted as he
returned from a fund-raiser for the House Democratic leadership? He and Gephardt
and Rangel and the rest of these pandering pols have been running around the
country, shaking down, among others, trial lawyers, by promising to fight off
all Republican risky schemes, most especially including any attempt to enact
tort reform.
Those evil Republicans - they want to reduce the number of
frivolous lawsuits. How dare they, Patches would thunder - well squeak, anyway.
Now Patches is about to be the defendant in a frivolous lawsuit. What
goes around, comes around. Is there no honor among thieves?
Clint
Eastwood was in D.C. yesterday, testifying before Congress about the lucrative
new racket that Patches' fat cat lawyer pals have developed, suing small
businesses for exorbitant sums under the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA).
Do you think Patches listened to Dirty Harry's arguments a little less
dismissively after his brush with the ambulance-chaser bar?
Patches'
hate crime at LAX is even affecting his bloated Papa. If Jack E. Robinson III
can limp over the 10,000-signature requirement, Teddy will not be able to
challenge enough of them to knock him off the ballot. One attack on a black
person could be an aberration. Twice, it becomes what the feds call a pattern.
The RICO statute kicks in.
Still, despite Patches' crash course in
reality, I still don't think he gets it. Why else would he insist on releasing
the LAX surveillance video? First of all, his "carry-on" was larger than the
state he represents in Congress. Not a good way to win sympathy with the
American flying public.
Secondly, he shoves the woman but somehow
believes he comes across well. Doesn't he have any clue about the jury pool he's
trying to taint? If this goes to trial, they'll be drawing jurors from the same
population that acquitted O.J. Simpson.
Don't settle Patches, demand a
jury trial in South Central L.A. As your new ally Clint Eastwood would say, 'Do
you feel lucky, punk?'
Go ahead, Patches, make her day.
Talk
back to Howie Carr on line at bostonherald.com.
LOAD-DATE: May 19, 2000 
